


Stars on the Ceiling

by lixiesunkisses



Category: K-pop, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Anxiety, Lee Felix-centric (Stray Kids), M/M, back at it again with the angst ahA, but he'll be okay, felix is feeling a little sad in here, i wrote this the other day when i was sad, implied depression, it's finally time to post it uwu, jilix, this is for the empty jilix tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:29:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28882476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lixiesunkisses/pseuds/lixiesunkisses
Summary: "I used to wish the sun away because I thought it was easier to be in the dark than the light, but now that I’ve met you I realized you are, in a way my sun, and I can’t live in those dark days anymore."
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	Stars on the Ceiling

**Author's Note:**

> was feeling like shit the other day, so why not project some of my feelings while writing uwu

Today seemed like it would never end. Felix knew when he woke up it was going to be one of these days because no matter how much he pretends like it’s not there, it always ends up crawling back under his skin like an itch permanently stuck in his system that he can’t scratch no matter how hard he struggles. Though that didn’t stop him from trying his hardest to push it down, because he’ll be damned if he had any of his friends worry about him. So he forces smiles and laughs that barely keep him sane throughout the day until he’s was able to go home to his bed.

He was just so tired, and today, even though it hadn’t been dreadful felt so bleak, so when he trips over the shoes his roommate left in front of their apartment’s door he almost screams and throws them across the room, _almost_. Instead, he puts them in their correct place, like he always does, and sluggishly makes his way to his room not even bother to change or even turn on the lights for that matter as he throws himself onto his bed, and feels the stress of the day collect under his eyes, they burn more by the second, as he stares at the faint lights coming from the stars on his ceiling. 

—

He remembers when Jisung, his roommate, had gifted him the stars. He had just got home from work, and Jisung, who heard the door close, beckoned him from the kitchen. Wordlessly handing Felix the package. Jisung’s eyes were scrunched up from smiling so hard, and he had the biggest, gummiest smile Felix’s eyes ever had the pleasure of seeing, and when Felix asked him why he bought them he said, 

“They reminded me of your freckles,” Felix’s heart might have skipped at the words but Jisung didn’t need to know that. 

The stars were a happy memory, but even those failed to put a smile on his face today. The worst part is that he doesn’t even know what triggered this feeling, but now that he’s in the safety of his room he’s ready to let the familiar dark atmosphere consume him.

Darkness was surrounding him at every corner, drawing him in only to just leave him stranded in its emptiness. Made him tired enough to want to sleep, but enough to actually get him there. He tosses and turns to get as comfortable as he can, and eventually settles to his left side facing the wall that his bed was pressed against in an attempt to make his room bigger than what it was. 

And that’s another thing, his room is so small, he feels like he’s suffocating half of the time, especially on days like this, he’s constantly feeling his nerves roll through his body, until he’s pulling sometimes ripping at his shirt’s collar to just _breathe_. 

—

Felix had just fallen asleep when he heard his bedroom door creak open slowly. Someone was trying to sneak in, but he’s still not feeling the best, so he slows down his breathing to make it appear like he’s still asleep. It was quiet for a few moments, and he’s about to turn around to see if he imagined the noise, but what he doesn’t expect was the feather-like kiss that’s pressed to his temple and the rustling of his blanket that’s being pulled and tucked over his body. 

“I know you’re not sleeping, but I left you something on your table for when you feel like moving around,” the voice, he identifies as Jisung, was so quiet that he’s ears strained to hear it. Jisung places another kiss on his temple before shuffling out of his room. 

He’s curious about what it is Jisung left him and lays there for another hour and a half before he musters the actual motivation to check, and what he finds on his table is a note. He debates whether the note was important enough to turn on the lights, This too takes some motivation, but he does it. 

He flinches when he flicks on the light, squinting at the words on the page through bleary unfocused eyes, it reads; 

_Felix,_

_I know you’ve been feeling out of it recently seeing as you haven’t been talking as much and your smile hasn’t reached your eyes all day and that’s completely fine! You don’t have to talk until your comfortable, but I would like to tell you a story in the meantime. A story about a boy meeting another boy in times of darkness._

_There once was a boy who wasn’t very happy and no matter what he did he couldn’t seem to shake the sadness that he felt inside. He tried everything but nothing worked, not even when he was around his friends or family, or even doing what he loved most in the world. Until he met another boy (that’s you btw), he doesn’t know how the other boy did it (he suspects the other boy is secretly a fairy) but he did, and can never thank him enough for just being himself. The End._

_Let’s call that the prologue to our story Felix, now here’s another chapter. I never told you the real reason I bought you those stars. They definitely did remind me of your freckles but the real reason was that I used to hate the sun. Literally and metaphorically, it was just so bright and that was something I thought I could never be. I used to wish the sun away because I thought it was easier to be in the dark than the light, but now that I’ve met you I realized you are, in a way my sun, and I can’t live in those dark days anymore. I’m not sure if I could ever be the same for you but I want you to know that you are very special even if you feel like you’re not. You’re amazing, and hard-working and so bright. I hope you can continue to be like that._

_Uh, I don’t know how to end letters, but I love you Felix and I can’t wait for your smile to come back_

_-Sungie <3_

Felix kind of wants to laugh and cry at the note, because it’s just like Jisung to be serious, and playful at the same time. Honestly, he’s is such a dork, but he always seems to know what to say to make Felix’s day just a little less cloudy. 

Felix carefully folds the note and climbs back into his bed, and if he’s honest he’s still not completely fine and that’s okay, but if he falls asleep again this time with the lights on then that’s okay too.


End file.
